A Love Letter to Charles Busch, an Ode to 'The Confession of Lily Dare'

OH, WHERE TO BEGIN? Charles Busch, I do worship you. I have worshiped you since the night my friend David and I saw “Psycho Beach Party/Vampire Lesbians of Sodom” in 1987. David needed a night off from caring for his lover, Max (we said “lover” back then), who had that virus that was going around. We had dinner at that steak place on Macdougal Street, where all the waiters were real waiters, old guys, not actors. It was the worst of times. We had the best of times.

And here we are, together again, Charles — not that I missed “The Lady in Question,” “The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife,” “Die, Mommie, Die!” and all the rest — but here we are, in a different part of the Village, and you have brought forth “The Confession of Lily Dare” And you are in glorious form..

THE FIRST SCENE IS AT A CEMETERY. That’s Mickey (Kendal Sparks), who used to play piano at a San Francisco brothel, and Emmy Lou (Nancy Anderson), who used to offer her services at the same house of ill repute. The two run into each other, visiting the grave of their old friend Lily Dare, in the shadow of what looks like the Golden Gate Bridge (that sliver of red at the top of the photo — set design by B.T. Whitehill ). Mickey and Emmy Lou are older now, and they’re remembering. Everything.

INGÉNUE OF THE YEAR, 1906 Charles Busch (second from left) plays Lily, of course, shown here throwing herself on the mercy of her Aunt Rosalie (Jennifer Van Dyck), a bitchy San Francisco madame. Lily, a schoolgirl who has had such a fine education in Switzerland that she speaks several languages with annoyingly impressive accents, is a recent orphan with nowhere to go. Rosalie takes her in and tries to keep her away from the working girls, but no one can stop her from falling in love with Louis (Christopher Borg), the goodhearted whorehouse bookkeeper. It is in this scene that we’re reminded of how much Busch can do with a simple line like “A room of my own?”

WHAT’S THAT STRANGE RUMBLING SOUND? “The Confession of Lily Dare” didn’t provide any photos of the San Francisco earthquake scene, so here’s an old photo. The earthquake happens, and it’s major. Miraculously, Mickey, Emmy Lou and Lily survive. But Louis does not, which is horribly inconvenient because our innocent young Lily is pregnant.

A SINGLE MOM’S GOTTA EAT. Happily, Blackie Lambert (more about him later) helps Lily become a world-famous cabaret star. Unhappily, the appreciative fans at the table in the photo (Jennifer Van Dyck and Christopher Borg) are not the European royalty they claim to be. They’re undercover cops who send Lily to prison because of the stolen diamond earrings she’s wearing. (She didn’t steal them, of course. Lily is blameless. But she takes the fall.)

NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER! Unhappily, while Lily is in prison, her friends are forced to give up her baby girl, Louise, for adoption. Lily wants her daughter back when she’s released, of course, but the Carltons, the adoptive parents, are such a lovely couple (Borg and Van Dyck). They have everything Louise needs — love, security, low-key fashion taste and piles of money. Plus: Poor Mrs. Carlton has had about 500 miscarriages.

MY BRILLIANT CAREER CHANGE So few job opportunities are available to cabaret has-beens with prison records, so with Blackie’s support, Lily goes into the family business, opening a brothel. She soon has branches all over California. Blackie, played by the reliably delicious Howard McGillin, is the bad boy of our story. He always has money. He’s always doing something dastardly. He always gets away with it. Or does he?

OH, NO, IT’S 1929. Yes, the stock market crashes, America’s economy collapses, The Great Depression is underway, and Lily has to eke out a living somehow. Then something very bad happens, and she’s in trouble again.

SOMETIMES LIFE IS AN ARIA Meanwhile, Louise (Van Dyck again), who inherited Lily’s vocal talent, has grown up to be an acclaimed opera star. She’s a well-brought-up lady too (except when, once in a while in the middle of a sentence, the word “cunt” pops up — ever so casually). All of Van Dyck’s four characters in “Lily Dare” are genius, but this one may be the most fun.

Anyway, Louise learns Lily is in big trouble, and although she knows nothing of their real connection, she’s touched — and feels compelled to reach out. If you ever saw “Madame X” (Universal Picture, 1966), just remember those scenes with mature Lana Turner and baby-faced Keir Dullea, and you can envision our big finale. It’s everything you want a Charles Busch melodrama to be.

“The Confession of Lily Dare,” by Charles Busch, directed by Carl Andress, Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce Street, primarystages.org. 2 hours. Limited run. Closes on March 5, 2020.